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From My Heart: Giving

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:08:00
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Hello, it’s me again. Just one person talking to another from the heart. I would like to talk about giving unconditionally.

I always thought that when you give something, you should get something in return. That only seemed fair. In fact, earlier in my life I wouldn’t give to anyone without making it clear that I wanted something in return or that they should feel obligated to me. I learned this behavior from my own experiences as a teenager. There was a time when I was in need, and “friends” would help me out, but at the same time tell others about it and make me feel obligated to them. They knew I couldn’t pay them back, and I appreciated their help so much that I almost got to the point where I was willing to die for them. They used this to their advantage by having me fight their fights for them. When we went out together, they would start fights, then disappear while I finished it for them and sometimes ended up physically injured.

I later realized that they didn’t give to me because they cared about me. They simply wanted to use me for their own selfish purposes. I should not have allowed myself to be put in that position. What is sad is that many times people are in need and end up in that position because of other people’s selfishness. For a while, I treated people the same way. I always expected someone to give back more to me than I gave them. I knew this was wrong, but I was going to get what I thought I deserved.

It took me a while to change my behavior. I prayed quite a bit and am now a firm believer in ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. How can you go wrong? I have loaned quite a bit of money interest-free over the years to people who could not pay it back. They didn’t tell me they couldn’t pay it back when I loaned it to them. We had signed contracts with deadlines that were not met. When I saw that they were truly not able to pay back the loan, I cancelled their debt. I did not expect anything from them afterward. Through these experiences, I learned that when someone is really in need, I shouldn’t give them something that they can’t return. I should simply give to them, unconditionally.

I give to those that I am led to give to. There are many people in need and there is no way to help them all. I believe helping others and making a difference in their lives is our duty as human beings. Whenever a situation of someone in need presents itself to me, I pray for guidance to be sure this is someone who truly needs my help. Part of giving unconditionally is keeping it to myself. I don’t tell others about whom I have helped or how I have helped them. In doing so, others are not able to judge that person in need. I accept that I am not completely unselfish and could not do this by myself. When I am told ‘Thank you’, I tell them to thank God for working on my mind and heart.
I would like to wish all the readers a happy and prosperous new year.

These are just my experiences. If I have reached the heart of just one person, I will feel I have been of some worth today. I am not judging anyone, so please do not judge me.

Your Humble Servant

 
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