Did you have to make a decision? Was it recently or in the past? Was it beneficial or a disadvantage to you? Who did the decision affect?
Decisions are difficult, no matter what the circumstances. The following are why some decisions need to be thought through. Adopting a biracial child. Parenting alone. Asking for a raise. Moving to a new town or state. Dissolving a marriage or close friendship.
Adopting a biracial child
As a counselor, I viewed how some adults were not prepared to take this job. I call it a job because research needs to be done about the individual’s race and culture. If you are a different nationality, the differences could affect the upbringing of the child. Some of my clients who had adopted children of other races had difficulty as the children started middle school. Although I am a visibly brown African American, I was raised in the Caribbean culture in Boston. My parents migrated there. During my youth and adult years along with my family, we were made fun off because of our speech and language.
Why? Did you make a list of the responsibilities that you will endure until the age of 18 years old? Yes, that is how long they stay home, or longer. I always wanted children so they were no mistake. I had two marriages — which is a long story — but let’s say their sperm benefited my need. The children were in the plan during the courting stages. Suzy is 49, and Jordan is 51 years old. I dealt with some of the rough teen years with my daughter, yet we got through them. My son gave me peace. The girls chased Jordan. My children were normal, and we had fun together. They didn’t do substances; I was lucky. I worked in that field as a counselor. I observed the heartbreak many parents went through with their teenagers.
Asking for a raise
Do you deserve one? Did you make a list of your job performances that warranted one? Is the list well prepared? So when you ask for the raise, will you be clear and concise with a mellow non-threatening tone in your voice?
Why? What are the benefits? Can you afford to move? Will you move alone or with someone? Have you considered the weather? In an emergency do you have friends or family to call on? What about your finances? When I relocated from New York with my two children I had a plan. I had a substantial amount of money and my family was here. I came out with teaching references to make finding a job was easy. I know it isn’t the same today. So plan wisely when you make that quantum leap. Be sure there are more pluses then minuses — that you are not running to get away from a relationship, but a move that will benefit your lifestyle.
Spring is good, fall is pleasant, snow is cold, and ice is slippery. Keep in mind you’re not 25 years old, and age can be a factor, and what are the benefits of moving. If you are older than 50, some places won’t take your medical plan.
List the fun activities you did today and plan to do for the weekend.
Smile, be happy. TIME is a precious moment. Email can be sent to Midgettscorner@aol.com
. Her blog can be viewed on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mary.midgett
. Midgett is the author of
"New York Flavor with a San Francisco Beat," and
"Brown on Brown: Black Women’s Erotica." Soon to be released:
"I'm 77 and Still Having Fun."