First I will list some reasons for what you might be waiting for. Second, why you are waiting. Lastly; some possible solutions or suggestions about your dilemma which might help in your decisions to get out of the waiting and why period. Then maybe you can have more spontaneity in your immediate or future life.
Here are some of the following reasons that hold you back from living for the moment: self –esteem; money; what friends and family, or significant others will say; people; visual expressions from family; also time, age, health and fear.
Self-esteem: Some individuals will not go to the movies alone because their friends could make fun of them — possibly saying, “Why do you go to the movies or dinner alone? Don’t you have any friends?” Someone may be sitting next to you and wanting to hold a conversation, giving you that sad look as if you’re lonely. You are afraid to move or say, This is my alone time.”
You may feel that you are not worthy of a vacation.
Money: Do you need money to take a solitary walk on the beach or sit in the park with a good book? Are you always thinking you need to pay a bill, and never spending any on yourself?
Time: You have bad time management; you are not spontaneous.
Age: You think you are too old to do fun things that you did when you were younger.
Health: Although you get a good bill of health from the doctor, you dwell on unnecessary issues that might happen if you take a risk and just “do it.”
Fear: What is the worst that can happen?
I called one of my friends in the city. I asked her if she would like to take a ride to Monterey, I would pay the gas and lunch. I knew of a nice fish place along the route. Girlfriend knew I have these moments, and she — being young, age 55, and as adventurous as I am — she is always ready to go.
If you have spontaneous friends, your life shouldn’t be boring. Also having a variety of friends in your life, especially adventurous ones, is the best. Those individuals can keep you young mentally and physically.
Especially if your conversations are always lively and inspiring, yet you know how to have a quiet time with friends and enjoy the scenery. My joy is to view water such as a lake or the ocean, and trees.
I always plan scenic routes which are relaxing for my mental health.
Some of the experiences are personal, such as information from friends and individuals I have chatted with. Do you fit into any of the categories I mentioned? Do you need to make some minor or major changes in your life?
The following can be taken away from you gradually or quickly: time, your job, money, sunshiny days, good friends, your health if it is good or fair, the weather, your eyesight, living space, marriage, live-in lover, your car or children. Then you need to ask yourself what are you waiting for — and why?
How many times have you said, “I will do it tomorrow? Why is tomorrow different then today? What is your time management today? What is your fear? Have fun!
Mary Midgett is the author of “New York Flavor with a San Francisco beat.” The San Francisco resident is available to do presentations and seminars on social and family negotiations; also on parenting, self-esteem, social and intimate relationships. She can be viewed on YouTube: “Midgetts host of older black women’s issues.” For more information, visit www.Marymidgett.net, or drop her a line at Midgettscorner@aol.com.
