What makes you shine?

This column is going to focus on “What makes you shine? I will present many questions which can help you see what makes you shine – or how to be your own shiny person. For instance what made you shine before you read this column? Was it difficult to answer this question? Did you realize that you needed to work on getting your shine grove on? Get pen or pencil ready. I want you to be honest with your answers. I suggest you copy the column so you can answer the questions at your leisure. In fact you might be inclined to give honest answers in a more relaxing atmosphere.

You can use this first question to be a braggart. Give yourself some credit for something you do well. Here are some warm-up questions. Do you know how you are perceived by others? What do you see in yourself that makes you shine? How often do you give yourself praises? There are times when weather can affect your moods. So hopefully, you will see more sunshine which might brighten your day or attitude?

Many of you make New Years Resolutions. Let’s start with a six-month goal. It is now June.

Name three things that make your shine. For example, what do people recognize in you?

Name three things that you need to improve on to shine. For example, attitude, voice level, etc. Name five things you love about yourself that will make you shine. For example, looks, body features, information to share.

Remember: Sometimes we forget that each of us has something to offer.

Are you a backstabber? Does that make you shine?

Do you have children? Why did you have them? Do they make you shine?

Are you memorable? For example, saying hello and acknowledging seniors.

Now that you have answered the questions, do you see areas in which you need to improve on at about 100%, 50%, or just a slight 10%? Do you need a total overhaul in the majority of the areas that you answered?

It is not the end of your world. Even if you are a middle-aged person, or age 74, as am I. Changes and recognition of these characteristics is good. It is the stagnant individual that remains that way. Growth can be challenging and fun. That depends on the energy you want to put into making the changes. Changes are not easy.

As a youngster, I talked extremely fast. When I attended Lehman University in New York, my English teacher failed me. I was 33 years old, and I was very angry at the grade. When I relocated to San Francisco and attended San Francisco state university, I took English composition.

Many mistakes were made in my first book report. My teacher approached me and commented that she was surprised that my writings were not well presented. Her suggestions surprised me. She said that because I talked fast, that was the way I was presenting my writing. She told me to practice talking slowly, and then to write some compositions and read them slowly. Then I was to put periods or commas at the end of the sentences where I would pause while reading.

I was able to listen and hear constructive criticism. Now I shine in my writing. I am an author and contributor to five anthologies. I was fortunate to find a teacher who cared about her student – me.

Mary Midgett is the author of “New York Flavor with a San Francisco Beat.” The San Francisco resident is available to do presentations and seminars on relationships and family negotiations. She also conducts workshops on Parenting. She receives email at Midgettscorner@aol.com. She can be viewed on YouTube at “Midgett’s host of older black women’s issues.”

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